The Inspired Unemployed In Business Attire

That Time When The Inspired Unemployed Tried The 9-5

Written by: Swisse Wellness
Swisse Wellness

You may have heard the sad news announcing the departure of our treasured employees, Matt Ford and Jack Steele. It is with heavy hearts that we ‘consciously uncouple’ with the boys after, well, an interesting six weeks. But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end.  

Some of you may be wondering why the boys’ tenure was so short and oh so sweet, but the sceptics out there may be questioning if this was a deliberate rouse as part of a larger campaign. Alright, guilty as charged.  

Now that you’re on to us, it’s time to spill the beans on how our Gummies campaign came to life and share everything the boys got up during their time as our Chief Gummies Officers.  

Phase one: The Inspired Unemployed are officially hired  

To kick off our Gummies campaign, we turned The Inspired Unemployed into The Inspired Employed by making them our new Chief Gummies Officers (CGOS). No stone was left unturned to make sure that Matt and Jack were seen to be fully-fledged Swisse Wellness employees. This began with inviting them to our office for a formal induction, office tour and a meet and greet with our brand and science teams.  

While the boys turned up looking the part and ready to take on all things corporate, minor hiccups occurred on day one that needed ironing out. There are only so many coffee cups one can break, and a few choice words were shared between Matt and our Office Manager, Frankie. All was not lost however, and by the end of an intense first week, the boys were ready to get to work!  

After induction, it was time to make it official online. After all, have you even started a new job if you don’t boast about it on LinkedIn? We gave the people what they wanted by setting up fresh LinkedIn profiles for the boys. Each profile was ‘Swissified’ with their very own headshot, new job title and Swisse Wellness cover photo. In true LinkedIn fashion, the post shares, congratulatory comments, connection requests and unsolicited DMs were coming in thick and fast.  

Swisse Instant Rizz GummiesSwisse Instant Rizz Gummies

DISCLAIMER: This was never an actual product… but we wish it had been 

Phase Two: Launching the Instant Rizz Gummies  

 As our new Chief Gummies Officers, Matt and Jack were tasked with one main challenge; ideate Swisse’s new gummies. The prerequisite? They needed to be functional and fun. As avid fans and advocates for our current gummies range, the boys felt they were under pressure to deliver something that would really make a mark. 

In between ping pong and nap breaks, the creative juices started to flow. Initial ideas included the ‘Slay the Day Gummies’, the ‘Love Gummies’ and the ‘Instant Rizz Gummies’. After much deliberation and putting it to a vote, Instant Rizz aka ‘instant charisma’ was deemed the front runner. The boys excitedly shared the news of their gummies creation, complete with their own bespoke label and signature Swisse Gummies container. The Instant Rizz Gummies were ready to take the Australian vitamin market by storm. Or so it seemed...  

Phase Three: Retirement  

While the sentiment around The Inspired Employed’s Instant Rizz gummies was generally positive, there was one small factor that the boys failed to consider: running it by our regulatory and legal teams. In an industry that is so heavily regulated, it turns out releasing gummies that promise to provide ‘5x more charm’ is against the rules. With the gummies deemed non-compliant, everything was halted immediately.  

Aside from the disappointing outcome of their new product, the boys were also struggling to adjust to full-time work. The adrenaline from the gummies brainstorming was waning, and the 9 am starts were taking their toll. When we checked in with them, Matt explained, “I love the role, but the different kinds of milk affect my lactose intolerance”, with Jack stating, “I just miss my lie-ins too much”.  

It was clear that the boys longed to return to their Inspired Unemployed life and while we loved having them on the team, it was time for our dynamic partnership to come to its natural end. We called a press conference for the boys to announce their departure. Of course, it was just sheer coincidence that this fell on April Fool’s Day... 

We hope you enjoyed being fooled and coming along for the ride! While we sadly don’t have Instant Rizz Gummies in stock, you can view our extensive gummies range here. 

Swisse Wellness

Swisse Wellness - Swisse Wellness

The copywriting team at Swisse Wellness plan, research and generate blog content with inputs from multiple teams across the business. With access to our industry-leading Science team, Product Development team, Customer Service team as well as informative Brand Managers, we have the contacts to deliver a well-rounded suite of blogs tailored to an array of wellness interests....